Goblin Life CoachLife coaching, minus the cringe.
If “life coaching” makes you wince — the vision boards, the hustle, the guru energy — fair enough. This isn't that. Goblin Life Coaching is its own thing: one honest $250 session, no packages, no manifesting, no telling you you're secretly a CEO. Just a goblin, met goblin to goblin. Not therapy, either.
Why does life coaching get a bad rap?
Because a lot of it earns it: vague advice, hustle-culture energy, manifesting, $3,000 “programs,” and coaches certified last Tuesday. Not all of it — there are genuinely good ones. But the cringe is real, and pretending otherwise is its own kind of cringe.
Plenty of good coaches exist. The genre just has a lot of noise. If it's made you skeptical, that's a reasonable read — not a character flaw.
How is this different?
One session, $250, paid once — no packages, no upsell funnel, no 12-week “container.” No manifesting, no vision boards, no “crush your goals.” It's its own thing: playful, honest, and built for goblins — not for people who already love life coaching.
It also isn't generic life coaching dressed up. The goblin part is the point: it's for the feral, funny, slightly-savage part of you that the polished stuff never speaks to.
Is it the same as therapy?
No. Goblin Life Coaching isn't therapy and isn't a substitute for mental-health care. It's informed by Internal Family Systems and somatic work, but it's its own thing — and if you need a therapist, the honest move is to go find one.
Therapy and coaching are different jobs. Goblin Life Coaching is its own thing — and honest about which one it is.
Is it worth $250?
Honest answer: only if it's right for you. It's one hour, one human, no strings, no recurring charge. If money is genuinely the only thing in the way, there's a quiet door for that, too — you write, no story needed.
No pressure and no funnel. If it's not for you, it's not for you — and that's completely fine.
What's the catch?
There isn't one. No subscription, no bait-and-switch, no free “discovery call” that's secretly a sales pitch. You book one session, you pay once, you do the work. The scarcity is real — a few slots at a time — not a fake countdown.
If you're a goblin and you've been allergic to coaching, that might be exactly the right instinct — and this might still be for you.