Goblin Life CoachGoblin self-care.
Goblin self-care is rest without the apology — and without the $90 candle. It's snacks in bed, a dark room, an unanswered text, and a body finally allowed to slump. Not the optimized, productive kind of self-care — the kind that actually refills a goblin. Onions optional, but encouraged.
What is goblin self-care?
Goblin self-care is looking after yourself in the un-Instagrammable ways: the real nap, the weird comfort food, the canceled plan, the long sit in a dark room. It's care that restores you instead of adding one more thing to optimize.
Most “self-care” is just productivity in a robe — a 5am routine, a green juice, a journal you feel guilty about skipping. Goblin self-care skips the performance and goes straight to the rest.
How is it different from normal self-care?
Normal self-care often means doing more — routines, trackers, $14 smoothies, a tidy aesthetic. Goblin self-care means doing less, honestly: resting because you're tired, not because it's optimal. No guilt, no glow-up, no audience.
The wellness industry sells self-care as a project. A goblin knows it's mostly just permission.
Goblin self-care ideas that actually work
A genuine nap. The snack you actually want. A no-screens hour in a dark, soft place. Saying no to the thing. Letting a feeling out instead of managing it. Getting low — floor, blanket, ground. None of it for the feed.
Pick one. Do it badly. That still counts.
Is goblin self-care just being lazy?
No — and rest isn't a moral failing. Cleveland Clinic notes that downshifting into rest genuinely helps your nervous system recharge. The catch is the spiral: rest restores; disappearing for weeks doesn't. The difference is whether you come back.
If the cave has started swallowing you instead of restoring you, that's worth taking to a real mental-health professional. This isn't therapy. More on goblin mode and the spiral →
How do you make it a habit without it becoming a chore?
Don't systematize it into another job. Keep it small, keep it allowed, and let it be unimpressive. The goal isn't a perfect rest routine — it's a life where resting doesn't need an excuse.
No streak to keep. No app. If you rested and felt a little more like yourself, it worked.
Where does Goblin Life Coaching come in?
Goblin Life Coaching is for when “rest more” isn't the whole answer — when you want more from life and could use a goblin in your corner. A $250, one-to-one online session. Its own thing — informed by IFS and somatic work, not therapy.
We don't fix your goblin. We help it get what it needs.